VINDICATED

I know corny ito pero sige itutuloy ko na…

                MINSAN

                    by benj

Ang love parang tulog

minsan matagal, minsan bitin

minsan malalim, minsan mababaw…

minsan magandang panaginip, minsan binabangungot..

minsan mahaba nga pero parang kulang pa rin,

minsan mabilis lang pero sulit dahil malalim…

minsan napipilitan, minsan di sinasadya…

minsan akala mo iidlip ka lang pero makakatulog ka na pala ng tuluyan…

minsan naman mahaba na ang oras mo pero di mo alam bakit agad kang nagising…

minsan gusto mo na lang matulog buong araw kasi pakiramdam mo wala naman sa kanila kung ikaw ay magising…

minsan ayaw mo na matulog dahil iniisip mo baka wala nag bukas na darating..

minsan gusto mong makatulog pero may ayaw magpatulog…

minsan gusto mo tahimik at madilim para makatulog ka…

minsan naman gusto mo maliwanag at maingay dahil natatakot ka…

minsan din magigising ka nalang basta dahil akala mo nahulog kana…

minsan di ka makatulog dahil nappresure ka

minsan naman gusto mo makatulog para makalimot na

minsan akala mo paggising mo wala ng problema

minsan natutulog ka kapag galit ka

minsan naman nakakatulog ka ng may luha sa mata

minsan pag natutulog ka niloloko mo lang sarili mo na tulog ka na

minsan naman ayaw pang matulog kahit pagod na pagod na

minsan kahit waterbed pa ang kama hindi ka parin masaya,

minsan naman kahit sa banig lang kuntento na…

minsan di ka makatulog dahil naiinggit ka

minsan naman dahil nagguilty ka…

minsan nakakatulog tayo ng wala sa lugar

minsan gusto natin mahanap ang taong makakatabi natin pagtulog habambuhay,

minsan naman gusto natin marami tayong kasabay matulog para makatulog…

minsan inuuna natin ang ibang bagay kaysa matulog

minsan naman inuuna natin ang tulog kaysa gumawa ng mga makabuluhang bagay  

minsan itinutulog mo na lang dahil libre naman ang managinip..

minsan naman ayaw mo nang managinip…

minsan ayaw mo nang matulog…

minsan ayaw mo nang magising…

minsan ayaw mo na magmahahal…

minsan ayaw mo nang maging minsan…

kung wala nang dahilan paggising mo kinabukasan.

One of the songs that really catches me is the song from India Arie entitled, "I am not my hair".  I’ve seen the video twice pa lang and the song goes like this;

"Does the way I wear my hair make me a better person?
Does the way I wear my hair make me a better friend?
Does the way I wear my hair determine my integrity?
I am expressing my creativity.."

India Arie i guess dedicated this song to the victims of Breast Cancer who undergo Chemotheraphy;

"Breast Cancer and Chemotherapy
Took away her crown and glory
She promised God if she was to survive
She would enjoy everyday of her life ooh
On national television
Her diamond eyes are sparkling
Bald headed like a full moon shining
Singing out to the whole wide world like HEY…"

Basically the song tell us not to judge a person by his/her hair….

mmm… it kinda works for the breast cancer patients.. but NOT for ME…

Coz in my case.. I AM MY HAIR… If you see me having an uncombed hair, it means im not in the mood.  On the other hand, my groomed hair means im happy or inspired. 

One of my favorite hairstyles is the one which is popular nowadays… the spikey, standing mohawk-like hair.. hahaha.. I also sometimes prefer the semi-kalbo haircut…

I remember the is a story behind that semi-kalbo thing.. having that kind of hair means something psychological to me.., CONFUSED?? ok.. for better explanation, here’s a part from my diary entry written last MAY 16, 2006;

"…pag nagpapakalbo ako, ibig sabihin may malaki akong problema… Ang buhok ang problema. Pagpapakalbo ang solusyon… Tinatakbuhan ko ang problema sa pagpapakalbo…"

Sometimes, we have to judge a person by its appearance.. well, i guess many of you will violently react with this one.. please don’t get me wrong…

Look.. if someone is "dugyot", it means that person is unorganized.  It reflects the person’s inner identity.. We can guess where that person comes from, the nature of his family, his parents… Weak personality means they’re shy, afraid of the crowd or not used to mingle with people…

Please don’t get me wrong.  I am not even against the popular saying, "Don’t judge the book by its cover"… I still believe that there are some "not good looking people", but are best people…

Thoug i was not given that "look" as handsome or as cute as models and celebrities, im still proud coz i know God created me in a very special way…

Basta for me, "what you see is what you get"…

Judge me with my hair… I AM MY HAIR…

A long time ago, there was a huge apple tree,

A little boy loved to come and play around it everyday,
He climbed to the treetop, ate the apples, took a nap under the
shadow…

He loved the tree and the tree loved to play with him.
time went by…the little boy had grown up,
And he no longer played around the tree every day.

One day, the boy came back to the tree and he looked sad.
"Come and play with me," the tree asked the boy.
"I am no longer a kid, I do not play around trees any more" the boy
replied.
"I want toys. I need money to buy them."
"Sorry, but I do not have money…
But you can pick all my apples and sell them.
So, you will have money. " The boy was so excited.
He grabbed all the apples on the tree and left happily.
The boy never came back after he picked the apples.
The tree was sad.

One day, the boy who now turned into a man returned
and the tree was excited "come and play with me" the tree said.
"I do not have time to play. I have to work for my family.
We need a house for shelter.
Can you help me?
" Sorry, But I do not have any house. But you can chop off my branches
to build your house".
" So the man cut all the branches of the tree and left happily.

The tree was glad to see him happy but the man never came back since
then.
The tree was again lonely and sad.

The man returned and the tree was delighted.
"Come and play with me!" the tree said.
"I am getting old. I want to go sailing to relax myself.
"Can you give me a boat?" said the man.
"Use my trunk to build your boat.
You can sail far away and be happy.
" So the man cut the tree trunk to make a boat.
He went sailing and never showed up for a long time.

Finally, the man returned after many years.
"Sorry, my boy. But I do not have anything for you anymore.
No more apples for you… " the tree said.
"No problem, I do not have any teeth to bite" the man replied.
"No more trunk for you to climb on"
"I am too old for that now" the man said.
"I really cannot give you anything…
The only thing left is my dying root," the tree said with tears.
"I do not need much now, just a place to rest.
I am tired after all these years" the man replied.
"Good! Old tree roots are the best place to lean on and rest,
Come, come sit down with me and rest.
" The man sat down and the tree was glad and smiled with tears…

This is you and the tree is your parent…

Some people say they’re happy…. but.. are they really happy? how do YOU define happiness? Is it just like.. smiling, laughing and stuff? or is it like having some one there by your side?

For me, there are three happiness. Namely, True happiness, Artificial or Synthetic happiness.. and short term happiness.

Let’s start with the lowest type.. The artificial happiness. Artificial happiness is a type of happiness that only shows on the surface. A person who is artificially happy laughs, smiles and do the normal stuff people do.. BUT! Do other people know what he feels? He tries to hide his sadness by hanging with friends and doing stuff that would make him forget all his suffering due to his sadness. Some people try to make people notice. Some try and fail. Some guys don’t know the feeling of true happiness. And some forget..

The next type is short term happiness. This type of happiness has a lot of sources… like.. materials and short term goals that will make him really happy..inside and outside. But, after a while of happiness because of his little contentment, this happiness will eventually disappear. People with this happiness tends to find another source after the previous one. This is.. kinda normal… i guess..

Then, True happiness.True happiness is the type of happiness that is real. A person who is Truly happy lives a happy life without any regrets of his goals and stuff. The primary sources may be, God, love, long term goals, family, successions in life, and many positive long term things.

Even people with happiness still feels sadness, and get hurt.
Some people think they’re happy but they’re not..
Some people think they’ll have a bright future.. but they have blank
Some people don’t know who they are.. Some people do..

Are we really happy?
Happy about our present condition?
Happy about our past?
Happy about our plans?
Do we dream just to become happy?
Do we dream just to have a goal?
Do we dream for both?
DO WE EVEN DREAM TO ACHIEVE OUR DREAMS!?

How about you people who destroy dreams?
What do you people dream?
Have you ever thought about what they feel?
Have you ever imagined how hard they try to strive?
Do some of you kill just to become happy?
Do you commit crime just for your sake!?
Why not commit crime for the sake of the world!?
Why not try risking yourself for others?

People of the world, are you happy about everything around you?
Have you thanked God, for choosing you to live?
Have you ever dreamed of reaching heaven?
Do you people think being perfect means happiness?
No person is perfectly good or perfectly evil..
No one is always right, no one is always wrong..
We were made in order to be imperfect..
Imperfection is equal to humanity..
If we were perfect, would life still be fun?

1. Accept Everything the way it is
2. take responsibility
3. go to work on yourself, not women
4. Evict your inner wussy
5. build a powerful, capable self-image that you love
6. move your frame of reference inside
7. stop making identity meaning out of external events
8. Eliminate failure by learning from it
9. compare your progress and success only to yourself, not others
10. Evolve constantly and conciously - always seek the next level and paradigm
11. see yourself as "high status"
12. stop apologizing
13. stop seeking approval
14. stop giving approval to get it
15. stop trading status for approval
16. untangle the past, present, and future - the physical, logical, and emotional, the short, medium and long term gratification, fear and the actual event, and other non-useful combinations.
17. surround yourself with success models, whether in person, in books, audio, video
18. know your purpose or path in life, and stay on it
19. travel
20. every day, find your center, become centered, and make yourself the center
21. focus on the core skills and your inner game, and the rest will take care of themselves
22. accept and embrace transion anxiety as an opportunity to see things from a beginners perspective automatically
23. learn to enjoy the process of learning more than the actual result of the learning
24. teach others every great thing you learn immediately
25. never whine, bitch, or complain … ever
26. objectify your demons so you control them instead of them controlling you
27. become selfish so you can become generous
28. surround yourself with success models while eliminating failure models
29. keep doing what works and stop doing what doesnt work
30. maintain your composure
31. prove to yourself over and over that you can deal with rejection
32. learn to sacrifice short-term gratification for long-term success
33. learn how to enjoy yourself, no matter what’s happening around you
34. value yourself and your time more than any woman
35. develop your awareness
36. learn to control your emotions
37. become unbelievably honest, authentic, and blunt when it’s time to be direct
38. learn to identify social status by communication and body language instantly
39. become an expert on your own self-deception habits
40. balance learning, practicing, and doing
41. constantly improve yourself
42. stop projecting your strengths and weaknesses onto others
43. eliminate destructive or negative habits and replace them with positive, useful ones
44. recognize when you’re losing control of yourself and stop
45. make your territory yours
46. lead
47. stop idealizing women
48. stop idealizing relationships
49. let her problems be her problems
50. don’t try control her by supporting her or giving her money
51. stop trying to impress women
52. as you learn, pay careful attention to every detail of your personal hygiene, dress, style, posture, voice tone – until it becomes “unconscious competence”
53. eliminate every nervous tick, gesture, facial expression, unconscious response to challenges from women
54. make yourself into the most interesting person a woman has ever met
55. set up your life so you’re constantly meeting interesting, attractive, available women automatically
56. behave as if you have 100 women calling you every day
57. don’t behave in a boring or predictable way
58. learn how to tell an interesting story about anything
59. learn how to use cocky comedy
60. make friends with attractive women by becoming a guy that women like being around
61. learn how to turn a woman on mentally, emotionally, and physically
62. learn the entire mating process of humans in detail
63. learn how to read situations before acting or communicating
64. tease, in every way
65. be honest, ethical, and authentic always
66. set a boundary as soon as possible
67. look past the content to see the true meaning of what’s going on
68. engage her emotions and body, not her mind
69. turn everything into an adventure
70. convince yourself that what’s about to happen is going to be unbelievably fun, then convince her of it
71. Always act and communicate in a way that leaves her wanting to know more, feel more, and do more
72. when you hit a challenge or setback, go back to the basics
73. when you find yourself losing a woman, stop, step back, and wait til she comes to you
74. always have three female friends around you that are the type of women you want to meet
75. when you find something that she really likes, stop, pull back, and make her really want it before you tease her with a little more
76. Learn how to make conversations interesting for women
77. learn what it means to become a renaissance man and become one

Titanic has a sequel!!!

Hahaha

Yes and the title of the sequel is Titanic 2 : The Surface

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbEgSLnxAME

enjoy!!!

PS. Don’t forget to leave a comment, okidoki?

CBS’ three-time Emmy winner returns Feb. 18 (Sundays, 8 ET/PT) with teams from seven of its 10 seasons, to be unveiled today. From among the 200 or so previous contestants, "it was very hard to pick favorites," executive producer Bertram Van Munster says. Producers chose partly "in terms of where their life went" since they left the show. "They’re not necessarily the winners, but character-wise, they’re all-stars in our book."

Only one team — Uchenna and Joyce Agu — was a past winner, in Season 7. But others are standouts: height-challenged Charla Faddoul and cousin Mirna Hindoyan; Joe Baldassare and Bill Bartek (the first season’s "team Guido"); Rob and Amber Mariano, who parlayed their Survivor stint into marriage and reality-TV careers; and Kevin O’Connor and Drew Feinberg, amiable, bald best friends from Season 1. Also repeating the Race are two teams from the latest season: coal miner David Conley and wife Mary, and beauty queens Dustin Seltzer and Kandice Pelletier.

Also in the hunt: Eric Sanchez and Danielle Turner, who competed on separate teams in Season 9 but later became a couple; Oswald Mendez and Danny Jimenez (Season 2’s "Team Cha-Cha-Cha"); John Pietanza and Jill Aquilino, a now-split couple from Season 3; and Teri and Ian Pollack, the oldest couple to finish as runners-up (she’s now 53, he’s 54), also in Season 3.

How did Race challenge contestants who knew the drill? "We had to throw them curveball after curveball, because they all thought they knew what we were doing again," Van Munster says. So the 45,000-mile, 28-day race, which ended Dec. 19, sent them "from extreme cold to extreme heat," a desert in northern Chile to "borderline South Pole" in Antarctica.

Van Munster says he and co-creator Elise Doganieri had "reservations" about an all-star edition, but he’s happy with the results.

"There is a lot of friction right off the bat" between teams, he says. "I’m confident we laid something on the table that will be very unexpected, and story-wise, there were plenty of fireworks."

source: http://www.usatoday.com/life/television/news/2007-01-15-amazing-race_x.htm

It was room,

And a car, and a car,

And a room, and a room

And a car.

But still I feel my lifetime festering pain

Not with my aunt and Uncle

George

But with my father

And the South and the Midwest Sates.

Even Ronald

Shrugged and grinned

Denounced by Spain and Vatican

Unlike Yoko and everyone in

Strawberry fields who made it

Home for grief and mourning

Those scenes usually reserved for

World leaders

And the silent vigil at E.S.T.

David

You mentally deranged,

I’m sorry

I was just saying it as a fact and

It’s true more for England than here.

I just said what I said and it was wrong

Or it was taken wrong.

That I baked as many loaves of bread

As what’s in the miracle in the bible.

That we’re more popular than Jesus

That Christianity will vanish and shrink.

10:30

When I see not the stars

But the spark of the limousine.

David, it was you

Hiding in the carriage vestibule

who shouted my name out from darkness.

After a combat stance

Four bullets struck at my back

And one in front

“I’m shot, I’m shot”

And run few steps toward the

Entanceway.

Then I found myself

Like a Cold Turkey

In a white room listening to

All my Loving

And I saw you David

You whacko flatly local screwball

who ended the symbol of peace,

the voice of the world

which is me!

You never Give peace a chance

But I believe, Jesus did.

It was shown through

Hundreds, possibly thousands

Gathered in Dakota that night.

And in Strawberry fields

They lit candles, but I don’t see them

But I see a Brit leading a rosary

With some on their knees.

Now

Vatican, immigration,

My father, Ronald

And David, who’s in search for fame;

Many of them love me.

Even committed suicide and hopeless for my

Other three companion’s reunion

That’s physically

impossible…

Mayabang at ayaw patalo.. yan ang tatay ko…. Madalas kaming mag-clash ng opinion at idea, and in the end, siya ang panalo.  Hindi siya papatalo dahil ayaw niyang ipakita ang kahinaan niya.  Sa bahay, ang rule ay “dapat ay lagi siyang tama.” Kapag nagkamali siya, magdadahila pa siya ng baluktot… Kapag umuuwi na siya ng gabi at lading, dapat ay walang kokontra sa kanya…

Napakataas ng pride, kaya nahahwa ako minsan.. Pataasan ng ihi. Madalas, si mama ang naiipit sa gitna.  Napakamainitin ng ulo niya at lagi pa niya akong pinagbibintangan sa mga bagay na hindi ko naman ginawa.  Pakiramdam ko tuloy, wala siyang tiwala sa akin… Pagdudahan ba naman akong hindi raw pumapasok sa eskwela at naglalakwatsa lang?? aba! Sumosobra na siya! Kung alam nya lang kung gaano akong nahihirapan sa studies ko—nahihirapan sa pagmemaintain ng mataas na grado… pero mukhang hindi niya naaappreciate yun…

Bakit ayaw niyang tanggapin sa sarili niya na tao rin siya at nagkakamali rin minsan?  Bakit ayaw magpakumbaba?  Kapag nasa bahay, naku po! Parang impyerno.. Kaya madalas, umaalis ako ng bahay. Pumupunta ako kahit saan.. sa mall, sa bahy ng kakilala.. kahit saan basta maibsan lang ang sama ng loob ko…

WAR FREAK ang tatay ko.  Palibhasa black belter siya ng Taekwondo sa Saudi… at ginagamit niya ang lakas at yabang niya sa ibang tao.  Nitong nakaraang araw lang, umuwi siya ng bahay—duguan ang mukha.  Dumudugo ang ilong. Dumudugo ang labi.

“Ang sarap talagang makipag suntukan!”, pagmamalaki pa niyang sabi sa nag-aalala kong nanay..

Ang yabang noh? Eh balita ko, ni galos o daplis hindi nasaktan yung kaaway niya.  Bwiset talaga. Kahihiyan talaga,

Hindi ko sinasabi ang mga bagy na ito para siraan ang aking ama… Ipinagmamalaki ko pa rin siya—paminsan-minsan…

Si papa? Masikap siya magtrabaho… Kahit holiday nagtatrabaho yan.. Nagpupundar siya para sa kinabukasan namin… Alam niya ang pangangailangan ng pamilya namin…

May pagkadisiplinado siya.  Kahit hindi kami mayaman, hindi siya nagkulang sa pagtuturo sa amin ng magandang asal.. lalo na sa harap ng hapag kainan..  Sa pagkain, bawal ang nakataas ang paa. Bawal ang hindi gumagamit ng tinidor.. bawal ang pinapalipas ang hugasan sa lababo… Ayaw niya ng tatamad-tamad.. Gusto niya, laging organized.. ayaw niya ng maingay at magulo…

Hindi ko man nasasabi ito sa kanya… mahal na mahal ko pa rin ang tatay ko..

note: red means im done with it..

1.See myself on television.

2.VIP entrance on a concert
3.Fishing

4.See myself on newspaper

5.Watch PBA in Araneta Coliseum
6.Win a trophy

7.Eyebal
l8.Go to Boracay

9.Rowing in Manila Bay
10.Audition on TV contests
11.MRT, LRT1 and LRT2 roundtrip
12.Wall climbing
13.Eat live animal/insect

14.No sleep for 1 day
15.Enter Malacañang Palace
16.Helicopter ride

17.No talk for 1 day
18.Golf

19.Eat in an all-you-can-eat restaurant
20.Buy original CD
21.Horseback riding
22.Be a call center agent
23.E-mail a politician
24.Join a rally

25.Bake a cake

26.Watch a runway show

27.Be in a live studio audience on TV
28.Read the entire Bible
29.Learn a new language
30.learn the guitar

31.Have a picture in Luneta
32.Have a pen pal from abroad
33.Read your own article in a broadsheet, tabloid, magazine or school paper
34.Walk in a rice field

35.Watch Oblation run
36.Bon fire with friends
37.Donate a blood

38.Talk to a native person
39.Enter a cave

40.1000 friends in Friendster
41.Join a game show / reality show
42.Have a fortune tell
43.Visit out of the country
44.Ride an airplane

45.Study at U.P.

46.Be a worship leader
47.Mountain hiking
48.Learn to drive a car
49.Ice skate

50.Own a business
51.Graduate in college

52.Enter an orphanage
53.Enter a prison hall / rehab
54.Picture with a celebrity
55.Learn to eat fire
56.Ride a taxi alone
57.Eat a whole pizza
58.Dental operation
59.Donate something for the poor / needy
60.Ride a ship / ferry / cruise ship
61.Work in a fast food
62.Touch a snow

63.Learn to swim
64.Travel London

65.Enter a casino

66.Win in a raffle/lottery/text promo
67.Fill a thrift bank

68.Enter a comedy bar
69.Attend a wedding ceremony

70.Be a Godparent
71.Own a cellphone / ipod / laptop

72.Be in a theatre group
73.Cross-stitching

74.Bowling

75.Enter Enchanted Kingdom

76.Make a documentary
77.Join NGOs
78.Make a book and have it published
79.Learn the motorbike/scooter

80.A shake hand with the President of the Philippines
81.Plant a tree and have it bear fruit
82.See a planet through telescope
83.Write or call to product manufacturer for comments / suggestion
84.Do a street magic
85.Live witness to a burning house

86.Scuba diving

87.Camping
88.Skydiving

89.Use a chopstick

90.Jump in a water fall
91.Be a mascot/clown

92.See an ostrich egg

93.Own a website
94.Witness a hostage drama
95.Be known for a heroic act
96Ride a chariot

97.Ride a limousine

98.Rappelling
99.Buy a painting

100. Salvation of family

every single activity listed above are things that i’ve never experienced in my life…kayo share niyo naman ang nagawa niyo na sa lists ko…or kung matutulungan niyo akong magawa ang ilan diyan ayos yun…